Smartphones Don't Make Dumb People

In case you were wondering, the title of this post is pushing back against this viral video that's going around right now. And I get the point it's trying to make. I do. But here's the thing -

Social media is what you make it. 

Can we overdo it? Of course?
Can we use it to hide away from the world, isolated from actual interpersonal contact? Sure.
But we can also use it for good. It can even bring people together.

I know a married couple who met through xanga. (Do you remember xanga?!)

I have a friend in California that I met on a discussion board back in 2002. Our friendship grew through Xanga, Email, and even Facebook.

I have friends on Twitter that I hope to meet in real life one day. Friends that inspire and encourage me with their words. (They even inspire me to write!) Behind a screen or not, we are all choosing how much to let people see of our hearts, of our pain, of our mess.

And guess what, I have a ridiculous number of friends that I spend time with in person. No one would accuse me of being a social recluse. And what about the ones who live far away and we rely on various forms of social media to stay in contact in between in person visits?

And what about all the people who have met through eHarmony or some other version of online dating?
(I know several people in loving, committed, happy marriages, who met through one of those sites.)

And what about the people who are struggling so much they can barely reach out, but they manage to do so online somehow, and it keeps them going for another day.

Because there are real people on the other side of the screen.

So by all means, do not neglect your relationships with your family and friends that you have the privilege to spend time with in person. But don't demonize the technology that allows others to make meaningful connections with people as well.

Social media is what you let it be.



(Thank you Micah J. Murray for inspiring me to write this post today.)

One Another

Challenge issued and accepted:

If you isolate yourself from relationships to avoid hurt, you'll end up hurting yourself and cutting others off from the help that is you.
— Doug Bursch (@fairlyspiritual) April 18, 2014

@JenniferNeyhart This conversation is your writing prompt. :) @fairlyspiritual @sometimesalight
— Ellen Mandeville (@EllenMandeville) April 18, 2014

When we are hurt by someone our instinctual, defensive reaction is to throw up our walls and get the hell out of there as fast as we can. And I've observed in myself that this can cause a chain reaction, affecting all other relationships. Thankfully, some of my closest friends have helped me see and fight this initial response, but it continues to be a struggle. I am so afraid that it will happen again. I tell myself that if I let others in, they won't like what they see and they won't love me the same.

But God created us for community: for deep, meaningful relationships, with God through Jesus and with other people. He never intended for us to journey alone. Think of all of the "one another" passages in Scripture:

"Love one another. As I [Jesus] have loved you, so you must love one another." - John 13:34

"Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace." - 2 Corinthians 13:11
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." - Romans 12:10

"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." - Romans 15:7

"Serve one another humbly in love." - Galatians 5:13

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." - Ephesians 4:2

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32

"be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit." - Ephesians 5:19
"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." - Galatians 6:2

Over and over and over again, we are exhorted to encourage each other, love each other, bear with each other, and forgive each other. And all of this must flow from the love of Christ in us. God wants to love through us. I've experienced his love through his people, and I don't want to deprive myself of that by cutting myself and/or others off from the relationships that we have. By the grace of God I will continue to choose to be vulnerable and open with the people I know I can trust. And by the grace of God, we will continue to grow together. 

(Even this post is an example of community and encouragement in action! This post would not exist were it not for the encouragement of @EllenMandeville =) 

Why I love Twitter

Because I get to know I am not alone. I am not the only one struggling with these things:

I don't know where I belong anymore. The gulf seems ever widening between the theology I was raised in and where I am now.
— J.L. Neyhart (@JLNeyhart) January 14, 2014

Fortunately, thanks to twitter and blogs and books, I know I'm not alone. #onlinecommunity (it's a real thing)
— J.L. Neyhart (@JLNeyhart) January 14, 2014

I remember @sarahbessey asking "what is saving your life right now". I want to change one word and ask: What is saving your faith right now?
— J.L. Neyhart (@JLNeyhart) January 14, 2014

For me it has been words... of @rachelheldevans & @JesusFeminist, @greg_boyd & NT Wright, Scot McKnight, @Sarcasticluther #SavingMyFaith
— J.L. Neyhart (@JLNeyhart) January 14, 2014

I am so thankful for how God has used their words(& so many more (@prestonyancey,@micahjmurray,@addiezierman, etc...) to point me to Jesus
— J.L. Neyhart (@JLNeyhart) January 14, 2014

And this. So much:

Something I love about the online faith community is that you're free to not quite fit anywhere, but also fit in a lot of places at once.
— Preston Yancey (@prestonyancey) January 14, 2014

You can have a little reformed in you, a dash of Eastern mysticism, an RCIA class or two ... it's a standing invitation to not consolidate.
— Preston Yancey (@prestonyancey) January 14, 2014

It's actually a bit medieval, the multiple expressions under a sweeping Orthodoxy. Maybe I'll blog that.
— Preston Yancey (@prestonyancey) January 14, 2014